Paid article: advice for people from ordinary families, breaking class limits and achieving intergenerational upward leap for the individual and family

Course introduction

A director in the system says: I've seen too many children from poor, weak families — with no family learning, no connections or supportive resources, and who themselves are poor at socializing — kids who stayed in the city by grinding on exams. From student days into the workplace, every step they take meets repeated setbacks and silent losses; they tend to be insecure and get bullied by others.

Even though they got into 985/211 universities, they ultimately failed to find a good job. Out of 200 relatives and connections around them, only a few are teachers — and their own understanding of the system is "being a teacher."

How can you tell at a glance whether a boy will amount to something later? Looking at his parents and his maternal uncle is enough; then just look at what social standing his aunts and uncles of all sorts hold.

If among these people even one is at or above the senior-division-director rank, the child will most likely amount to something; if they are all officials at or above that level, the child will go very far.

Many come from poor original families; their parents and relatives are at the very bottom of society, knowing only how to sell their labor to scrape together a living, unable to understand society's operating rules, and passing nothing on to their children through experience. Just raising their children to adulthood was already hard enough — never mind guiding their lives.

They got into a good university but failed to land a good job; fumbling along on their own they took many detours and were chewed up by capitalism for years. Some didn't find their career direction until 35 and only then entered the system — even that counts as lucky, a closing-the-barn-door-after-the-horse-is-gone fix. There are also many who graduated from top schools but, unemployed in middle age, struggle for a living every day. With no one to show them the way — like that photo of two generations of delivery riders — they got into university but still couldn't cross class lines; and after entering society they develop severe maladjustment and more easily fall into a passive position in relationships.

What does "an ordinary original family" mean? Simply put, it's the kind of people who have no usable social resources and change their fate entirely through studying. Once they enter the workplace they keep working as hard as ever, but they can rarely get the kind of positive feedback they got when studying.

Because once you step from school into society, the contest of personal ability has already upgraded from raw intelligence to a fight of IQ, EQ and adversity-quotient, plus relational background and other comprehensive abilities. Except for their innate gift of intelligence, children from ordinary families lag behind on every other front.